What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
your room smells of hookers.
And success
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
