Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
