Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I lost the right to judge tonight
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
