So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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