It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
