So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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