Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
