i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
