No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My breasts were aching with rage.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize