If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
