I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
