This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Be still, my beating vagina.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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