I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I have feelings that need drinking.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
