it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
