He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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