trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
COCAINE IS GR8
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
