i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize