so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
