it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Enjoy the penises
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
