why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
