evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize