Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize