I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
