her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
