that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
