4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
