Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
