and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
