I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Damn victory sex feels great
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
