marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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