to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
