Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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