i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Dicks are not precious.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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