Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I still have a little drunk in my system
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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