The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
