I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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