Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
that is very illegal...i love you.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
