Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
