I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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