why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
