The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
