I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
