Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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