I got her a Nickelback box set.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
