She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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