I'm laying in your front yard are you home
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
