pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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