absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
