Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
