you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
