went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
