Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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