is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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