can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
