dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
