The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
