it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
