at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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