i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
