I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
