There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
