Soap is not a condiment
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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